I have just finished Sinead O'Connor's book, Rememberings.
I listened to the audio version, read by the author.
An incredible artist, a fantastic singer - one of the few people that gives me goosebumps everytime I listen to her voice - and someone who's basic needs as child were not met.
But I don't want to review the book or analyse Sinead.
I love her music and I love the rawness of the book, the way is written and how it is delivered, especially by her voice.
What the title of this is about, is something that came up yesterday when I was teaching a class.
We started to talk about self-limiting beliefs, self-confidence and self-esteem.
We were nearing the end of the session, but one question was raised:
"How do we get away from this constant nonsense and constant comparing ourselves to others?"
I ain't no guru and I know nothing - at least that is what I tell myself every morning when I get out of bed - so I based my answer simply on my knowledge of myself and what works for me.
I told a very abridged version of my life story - a super fast summary of what got me where I am now - and with that I explained that once I knew exactly who I really was, it became very obvious that comparisons were not necessary anymore.
The knowledge, backed by our DNA, that we are unique, is enough for me to know that comparing myself to anyone else is futile.
I will never be - nor I want to be - anyone one else.
I do look up to people.
Of course I do.
I do look up at people that are doing things that I too would love to do.
I watch in awe if someone is doing something that touches my passion, or simply something that I could take inspiration from.
Recreate, in my own way, what others are doing and doing much better that I ever thought possible.
Note, there is no jealousy or no comparison.
The perspective change.
I am no longer comparing myself, but simply appreciate what can be done, appreciate the possibilities.
It is a marker, out there on the horizon, that sometimes I set for myself and think...
"It would be nice to get to do that/achieve/look like/aspire to..."
And so I focus on something.
I absorb anything that will help me move toward that marker, these people that I look up to become role models.
And by the way, the horizon is only 2.9 miles away - if you are average height and standing on a beach, that is.
So it isn't that far away.
You can pick your marker, learn from the people you look up to and go for it.
You are unique and so are they.
And being unique also means that you don't need to look down at people.
There is no point.
Nothing, I mean nothing, compares to you.
"Since you been gone, I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant But nothing I said nothing can take away these blues 'Cause nothing compares Nothing compares to you"
Songwriter Prince - Performed by SInead O''Connor